I have freedom from the opinions of others.

Written on 03/15/2020
Jamie Gilliam

I have freedom from the opinions of others.  Speak it out loud and write it down. 

I once read, "We have become complacent in the way we treat others and even complacent in the way we allow others to treat us."

 You have the right to choose how you are treated.  You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate.  And, often we let other people's opinions define us.  We choose to change ourselves, stress and get emotional over what someone thinks, if they choose to not be our friend, if they make a comment that hits a nerve or even if they disagree with our opinions.  

I'll tell you:  it's been difficult for me to learn to not let the opinions of others get to me.  Owning a business and being in the public eye as an online coach puts me in a position of constant judgement.  People sometimes make comments on posts that aren't nice, or message me mean messages telling me I need to stop posting my body online or I don't know what I'm talkng about.  I've had people spread rumors and gossip in our small town to try and sabatoge my gym business.  I've had a woman dedicate her time and energy to hating me and recruiting others to do the same.  Sometimes people are downright mean...and it can sting.  But I also know that the way people treat me says more about them than it does about me.  I also know that I can do the best I can to learn from sitautions where people voice their opinions.  Some opinions are valid and  I can learn from them.  Others are just pure nonsense and driven from a person's own issues within their own life. 

You also have to know that the more visible you are in the public eye, the more you will encounter negativity.  No matter how positive you are or your message is.  Also, when you are in alignment with your life's purpose, the more you will come against obstacles and people who have an intent to bring you down. That's just the name of the game when you set out to live your purpose.  You cannot be afraid.  It is why we are given the strength to rise above the obstacles.  

With that said, you should care about how you present yourself to others and how you live your life.  What energy to you put out into the world and how do you treat others? This matters, of course! What you should not do is fret over negativity and people who opinionated about your life just because.  Do not change your course or your purpose for the sake of making other's happy or content when you know your purpose. You won't be liked by everyone.  Everyone will not mesh with your vibe.  But..the people that love you and need you the most, the people that need your message the most...they are the ones who matter and why you have to stand strong when you face negative nillies. 

Think about who matters to you and whose opinions should matter to you.  For me, 

1. God is first

2. My husband

3. My children

Outside of these people's opinions of me, I live my life the best I can with integrity and postivity.  I make mistakes, and do the best to learn from them.  When an opinion is valid and can provide insight to a way for me to improve something or righta wrong, I pay attention.  Otherwise, I keep on focusing on the people that matter and doing the best I can to live my purpose. 

I also choose to surround myself with people who love me for who I am; people who push me to be the best version of myself.

Free yourself from the toxic and negative people in your life who bring you down.

Take a moment to write in your journal the people who matter to you, who are closest to you.  The people whose opinions matter and have value in your life.  

Then, think about a time when you were really hurt by a commnet someone made or a behavior of even a friend or family meber.  How did it impact your day, your week, your month...are you still fretting over it? Think about what you learned from the experience or if you can learn from that experience now.  Look at the situation from their perspective. Was it just a random comment from a random, negative person?  Or was it a situation involving a person close to you that was really hurtful?  Is there anything you could have done differently?  Anything you reasonably needed to change at the time?  Any apologies that you needed to make to make it right?  

Then, once you've answered these questions, let it go and move forward.  Accept that you have learned from it and focus on living your life's purpose.  You have a purpose.  You have a light.  You have a gift to give the people who love you and the world.